"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
