fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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