I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
