someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
