He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize