Got a toothbrush?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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