so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize