So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
