Plan B is the new Plan A
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
