I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
