it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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