you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize