Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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