Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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