she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
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