i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
