i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize
