soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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