I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
