So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
