I puked a lego.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
