He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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