u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
