420 ftw
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
