Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
