She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I will pee on everything he values.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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