I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize