when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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