I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
