Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
