I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
