And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
