you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
