she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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