Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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