Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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