How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Let's get the cat blown out
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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