whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
