But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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