just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
