it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
