so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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