You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
