Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dick very happy bro
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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