Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize