I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
