I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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