were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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