just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
