I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
