Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
ok first of all what the fuck
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
