Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
