oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
