We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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