Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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