I heard we made out
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize