So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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