He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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